Well for me it’s hard to be a big sister. It’s hard because no one taught me how to be one. I became a big sister when I was a year and three months. My young sister Ana was born. She’s always been the trouble maker or as other people say the black sheep of the family. I would follow her around as if she was the oldest and I was the youngest once she learned how to walk.
I didn’t think I would become a big sister again but I did when I was three years and exactly two months my sister Claudia was born. She was calm and still is. She follows Ana around. I feel bad because when we were young I didn’t act like the big sister instead I acted like the youngest.
Know that I know or have an idea of how to be a better sister and talk to them. I want them to trust me and share with me what they feel and things like that. I think it’s a bit too late because they don’t trust me and they get in trouble and barely communicate with me. We argue and fight a lot. I miss the days we were close. We barely started splitting up.
When my mom and dad did we sort of started growing separately. It was hard on us because we were little. We were together until me and my mom got in a nasty fight and I left her to go live with my dad. I got lonely and I didn’t like living with him so I left him and moved with my mom again. When I went back it was weird because things were different. They were mad because I left them and they needed me to be there and support them.
I always was like their protector or something because I would always be there for them. Even as we got older I was there for them. After I came back to live with them they changed and acted different. It was weird because they would talk among themselves and ignore me. I would try to be friendly or play with them and they would look at me like I was crazy for trying. When Ana started middle school she was around me more because we went to the same school and saw each other often. She got use to me, and she slowly but surely started coming back to me as if we were little kids again.
She started trusting bit more that she told me some of her secrets and she tested me to see if I would betray her. Claudia was a different story she started trusting me because Ana started trusting me. It was a bit more complicated because I would barely see her. She was more loving and caring though. She trusted Ana more and she still does. It gets me mad that she doesn’t come to me instead she goes to her friends that cause her huge problems.
Claudia is an outgoing person. She isn’t afraid to try something new or speak her mind. Sometimes that’s a bit too scary because she doesn’t know when to stop. People love her but she gets annoying after a while. The one thing that she has that’s scary is trying new things. She’s gotten in lots of trouble because of it. She was almost expelled from her school because she made the wrong decision and she didn’t talk to me about or anyone but her friends.
We were all very disappointed in her. I couldn’t believe that she didn’t have the courage to talk to me about it. We have gone through a lot and yet she still didn’t trust me. It was complicated I was very hard on myself, I kept thinking that I wasn’t the best sister they have had and that they deserved a better sister. When Ana decided she had, had enough of us trying to be there for her she left with my dad. She didn’t plan on coming back but she had too. We knew where she was but couldn’t go for her because she didn’t want us too. We ended up having to take her back. While she was gone Claudia and I came to a summer program called S.I.C (Saving Innocent Children). That helped me and her better our relationship and our communication. We became closer. Ana came in the picture again and she ruined everything Claudia and I had built up.
We have a very complicated relationship. Sometimes we can’t stand each other and we will start fighting for the dumbest things ever. But sometimes we act like we can’t live without each other. Know that a big sister again but this time it isn’t a girl, it’s a boy I know for a fact things are going to be different with him because he’s going to have three big sisters that love him and are going to be there for him no matter what. Yeah no one taught us how to be big sisters but we definitely know that we are not going to make the same mistakes with the baby. Also we have learned from our various mistakes that we need each other no matter what.
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